TKS: Requiem for the Show Not Broadcasted
by Kalabora
Summary: Talk show with anime and game characters. Alot of humor and strange people. Please R&R! Episodes 13 are up, Enjoy. Rated M for language.
1. Prolouge

**TKS: Requiem of the Show Not Broadcasted**

_By: Kalabora 001_

Chapter 1: Prolouge

The Kalabora Show (TKS) has been worked on for about four years and has been deleted along with my account (unknown reasons?) This is a complete rewright of the show with all new text and chapters basically because I didn't have the saved on this PC.

The Kalabora Show is a talk show. I will be the host and be refered to as Kalabora. I will interview game, anime, and other characters.

Here is the staff of the show.

Host: Kalabora

Producer: Retsu

Announcer/Narrorator: Kile Terro

Helper Monkey: Kile Terro

Band: Vicious (Kile's pet Bidi which is what Bobidi is one Dragon Ball Z).

Animemaster(the first one): In charge of transporting the guests.

Also as a note for the fans we will not be seperating the show into seasons. It will be shown like a nightly talk show just all one big blur.

**Next Episode Preveiw **

_On the next show we have Bender of Futurama, Scorpion of Mortal Kombat, and Squall Leonhart of Final Fantasy VII._


	2. Episode 001: Twisted Ties

**TKS: Requiem for the Show Not Broadcasted**

_By: Kalabora 001_

Episode 1: Twisted Ties

The camera scans around the set of The Kalabora Show. Revealing an empty audience area. As the spotlight moves around various mutant rodents scurry around and the viewers catch a brief glance of the announce booth and see a tail and a large bottle that read "Kile's Sauce. Suddenly the screen fills with white.

_From a poor mothers basement in the middle of the south here is your host, Kalabora!_

_The camera slowly zooms out to reveal an upset Kalabora._

Kalabora: Kile! What the hell was that!

Kalabora points to the screen that shows the main video.

_What?_

Kalabora: You know what... I thought we were going to keep the show civilized and professional this ti---

_Shhh!_

Kalabora: cough So, how 'bout this weather...

Kalabora slowly looses his tie and dusts his shoulder off. His eyes widen. The camera moves to the left where we see a pair of glowing eyes glaring at Kalabora peaking through the curtains.

Kalabora: ...cough

Kalabora's eyes dart around.

Kalabora: Tonite we would like to introduce our producer, Retsu. He's a real nice guy who has faith in the show.

Vicious performs a drum roll.

_And here because he has to be here is the one the only, Retsu._

Sephiroth's Theme plays as Retsu walks from behind the curtains and walks over to Kalabora. He then pulls at the collar of his black trench coat, and walks to Kalabora's desk.

Retsu: Hmmm... Helper monkey!

_One moment, Sir!_

The microphone emits a piercing noise along with clopping footsteps and glass shattering noises. Kile runs onto the stage and bows to Retsu.

Kile: Sire...What is your wish.

An slight smile comes over Retsu's face.

Retsu: My blade.

Kile: Yes, sir!

Kile stands up and reaches into his pants, and begins grunting. Shortly after this display he recovers a black katana, then goes back down to his knees holding it out in his hands while bowing.

Retsu: What a foul storage area. But, what can I expect from such a primitive creature. Return to your position.

Kile bends over in front of Retsu.

Kalabora howls with laughter.

Retsu kicks Kile off the stage and points to the announcers booth. Kile scurries up the stairs and returns to the booth, then the familiar sound of a "soda" can opening comes through the microphone.

Retsu: Disgusting creature isn't he. Aye, I suppose that's what you get with vocal animals...

Kalabora stops laughing and looks confused for a moment and returns to his laughter.

Retsu unsheathes his katana and points it at Kalabora. Kalabora runs behind his desk.

Kalabora: Animemaster! Get out here and protect me!

A door creeks open to the right as smoke billows out of it. Shortly animemaster stumbles out of it wearing a tank top and knee high yellow boots. He runs over to Kalabora who is cowering behind his desk.

Animemaster: What is it?

Kalabora points to Retsu.

Kalabora: Protect me!

Animemaster jumps onto Kalabora's desk, and pulls a mop out of his left boot. He motions to Retsu.

Animemaster: Yayy!

Retsu: Idiot...

Retsu moves his sword quickly then puts it back in the sheath.

Animemaster: Come o--!

The desk splits into several sections then falls to the floor along with animemaster.

Retsu: Now... you clean this mess up and get the new desk out here. This one is so two years ago.

Retsu slicks his grey hair back and sits in the guest chair to the left of Kalabora.

Retsu: Let's get on with this interview shall we.

Kalabora: Yes, sir!

Kalabora sits down in his chair. Behind the fallen animemaster.

Kalabora: So...Why do you have so much invested in the show?

Retsu: Insurance.

Kalabora: Heh...And you have alot of faith in it and us right?

Retsu: No...mostly because of the insurance. Enough with these idiotic questions I'm out.

Retsu stands up and walks off the stage. The screen fades to black as we go to commercial. During the two minutes and fifty seconds animemaster stumbles around in his boots cleaning up the wreckage. Afterwards he goes behind the curtain and pushes out a new desk. The new desk is made out of metal and has the words "The Kalabora Show" written on the front in black marker. Kalabora wheels his old chair around to the back of his new desk and sits down.

_5...4...3...2...1...and we're live._

Kalabora: Welcome back to the show. Tonites first guest is a ninja. To be more specific a ninja spectre please welcome Scorpion of Mortal Kombat!

Vicious plays a lame carnival music intro. A poof of smoke covers the guest chair. As the smoke clears we see scorpion in the chair with his arms crossed.

Kalabora: Hello, Scorpion.

Scorpion: Greetings mortal. Why have you brought me to this accursed realm?

Kalabora: To ask you questions and I paid you to assassinate Kile Terro leader of the bidi didn't I.

Scorpion: You shall have his burnt tail when I am done with him.

Kalabora: Finally, a new belt...

Scorpion: On with the questions.

Kalabora thumbs through his note cards.

Kalabora: Okay, why do you hate Quan Chi.

Scorpion: Quan Chi killed my family an--

A large flat screen T.V. lowers from the ceiling down to the stage floor. Animemaster moves the T.V. to the left of Kalabora, so it is in clear view of Scorpion. Animemaster then returns to behind the curtains.

Kalabora: What if I said I had video of you and this Quan Chi dancing?

Scorpion: You lie mortal! Shao Kahn is my on-- cough

Kalabora: Roll the tape.

The screen comes on. We see a smiling Scorpion (He is wearing his mask, but we can tell he is smiling due to his eyes.) dancing with a equally happy Quan Chi. The two are dancing in the middle of an empty room. A table in the middle appears to have formerly been the location of a romantic meal for two. The two stop dancing and stare in to each others eyes, then Scorpion walks to the table and motions to Quan Chi to do the same. Scorpion pushes everything off the table and lays down on it.

BOOM

The T.V. glass shatters, and it slowly falls forward to reveal an angry Peter Griffith holding smoking shotgun. Scorpions eyes widen as the camera zooms in on his priceless reaction.

Peter: How dare you!

Scorpion: I-I-I'm sorry, Peter! I couldn't help myself...please forgive me!

Peter: No! I let you into my home, and you repay me by doing this!

Scorpion: But, I though you said you didn't have a problem with me dating?

Peter: I don't...I do have a problem with you going out and eating without me!

Kalabora begins hitting his head on the desk.

_Wooooooo!_

Scorpion: Forgive me, Peter.

Peter: I'll forgive, but I won't forget!

Scorpion walks over to peter and hugs him. Peter pumps his shotgun in preparation of another shot. He then points it upwards and BANG shoots out a studio light.

Peter: Come on. Let's go home you big lug.

They walk of the stage together. BANG A hole appears in the curtain behind Kalabora. We hear Peters signature laugh.

Kalabora: Wow. That could have been a whole lot worse...anyway who's the next guest Kile?

_Please welcome Squall from Final Fantasy VIII._

Vicious plays more dumb carnival music as animemaster walks over to Kalabora.

Animemaster: We have a problem...

Kalabora: What is it?

Animemaster: I lost him.

Kalabora: WHAT! How the hell! Your in charge of transporting the guest! How did you loose him!

Animemaster: We were on the way here in the car, and he asked me to put on pants. So, I did so. Then he asked me what I was smoking, and asked for a hit. A little later I heard the door open at a red light and I turned around and he was gone.

Kalabora: Well, is the next guest here!

Animemaster: Who that drunk robot guy?

Kalabora: Yes.

Animemaster: Yeah, he go here himself.

Kalabora: We'll bring him out.

Animemaster rushes off stage.

Kalabora: Well, folks due to unfortunate circumstances we have lost Squall. But, like all our guest we equipped a tracking device to him and will hopefully find that signal soon. Anyway, Kile please bring out our next guest.

_Straight from Robot Hell it's Bender from Futurama!_

Vicious plays and really slow carnival music remix. Blender stumbles out with a cigar in his mouth and a bottle of beer in his hand. He walks over to Kalabora's desk and falls onto it.

Kalabora: Animemaster! Get the f$ out here!

Animemaster runs out and quickly moves Bender off the desk and sits him in the guest chair.

Kalabora: What is wrong with him! Did you give him a hit too!

Animemaster: N-No, must be the alcohol.

Kalabora: Alcohol has the opposite affect on him you idiot. Didn't you watch the episode where he tries to quit drinking in the first season!

Animemaster: U-uhh, bye.

Animemaster runs away.

Kalabora: Everyone on this show is fu(ng nuts or f8548d up on something! Dammit, lets get this over with. Bender! What is it like working on the Planet Express ship?

Bender: Well, Kalabora it's great to touch her large circuits a--

Kalabora: That's not what I meant. Let me rephrase that. What is it like working with Fry and the rest of the crew?

Bender: There okay, but they just slow me down. GZZHH

Benders antenna sparks with electricity as we notice an electrical wire wrapped around it.

Kalabora: Oh, Jesus Christ on a st -! Are you jacking-on (see notes at end) again Bender?

_Wooooooo!_

Bender: Yeah, man it's totally natural...awww...

Sparks start flying around the set and loud popping noises begin. Suddenly the electricity goes off. The emergency lights come on providing little light.

_Looks like that's the en-- what the hell! Is that Stewie!_

We see a small figure rush over to Bender. It jumps on to bender and begins slapping him in the face from side to side.

: Damn you! You- you tin man from beyond! Victory is mine!

The figure runs into the darkness.

Kalabora: Hey, Kile. How does your microphone work?

_Anyway that's all for now. See you next time!_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_**Next Episode:**_

_We will have Vegeta of Dragon Ball Z, Lois from Family Guy, and possibly and update on Squall!_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_**Notes:**_

_Jacking-on A robot using electricity to "get high" appears in an episode of season one in Futurama._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_**END OF EPIOSODE 001**


	3. Episode 002: Smoking Tail

**TKS: Requiem of the Show Not Broadcasted**

By: -Kalabora-

Episode 002: Smoking Tail

_Good evening. Here for you viewing pleasure is The Kalabora Show!_

The screen shows Kalabora sitting at his desk.

Kalabora: Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Tonights guest are Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z and Lois of Family guy. But, first we have an update on Squalls location.

Kalabora claps and the T.V. comes down.

Kalabora: Using our patented "Where are you?" technology we can see Squalls location on this screen.

Kalabora turns on the T.V. a strange diagram with a small blinking red dot.

Kalabora: This dot is Squalls location and knowing this we can zoom in on him at anytime with a GPS satellite. I will now do so.

The screen slowly appears to be falling toward something until we finally see Squall on a basketball court. He is being guarded be one of the other players.

Squall: Yo yo yo. Pass me the rock! He ain't got nothin' on me.

The ball is passed to Squall, then he drops it. Another player grabs the ball. Squall chases the guy around then pushes the guy to the ground.

Squall: Yo, Money! You got a prob?

The guy gets up and stands in front of Squall as the other players surround him. The guy throws the ball into Squalls stomach. Suddenly the video feed is lost and the screen turns black. We now see Kalabora.

Kalabora: It appears we have lost the feed. Looks like he's having fun...anyway on with the show, Terro.

_Ladies and Monkeys of all ages please welcome the prince of Saiyans, Vegeta!_

The Dragon Ball Z ending song plays as Vegeta walks onto the stage. At the last beat he turns and sends a ki blast at Vicious. Vicious rolls out of the way to narrowly dodge the attack, but his drum set is destroyed. Vegeta takes a seat in the desk chair.

Kalabora: Nice shot! I hate that bidi piece of shit!

Vegeta: Your no better, maggot!

_Sorry for the interruption, but the producer would like to come out._

Kalabora: I knew he was gay!

_No, he would like to speak with you on the stage. Please welcome, Retsu! _

Sephiroth's theme begins playing as Retsu walks slowly from backstage to Vegeta.

Music ends. Retsu leans toward Vegeta and looks into his eyes.

Retsu: You...BITCH!

Retsu slaps Vegeta across the face. Vegeta starts to stand up, but is pushed back down into his seat.

Retsu: Those drums cost MONEY!

Without a reply from Vegeta he pulled out his blade and stabs Vegeta through the chest.

Vegeta: I...whezz I'm Rick...James...Bit--...

Retsu: Helper Monkey!

Kile rushes to Retsu and kneels down.

Retsu: Relieve my eyes of this corpse.

Cut to commercial When we return everything is clean and back to "normal" Retsu is also gone.

Kalabora: Welcome back! Our next guest is a stay at home mom and mother of three please welcome Lois of Family Guy!

Lois walks out and takes a seat in the guest chair.

Kalabora: Hello, Lois. How are you?

Lois: Oh, I'm fine. How are you Kalabora?

Kalabora: Good. Umm... what do you have to say about your husbands erratic behavior?

Lois: Who? My husband was home all day working on a car with his son, Chris.

Kalabora: Right... and the crazy baby who beat up Bender last night?

Lois: I must have missed that. I fell asleep with Stewie last night.

_Woooooo!_

Kalabora: You are a strange and sick man...

Animemaster comes onto stage from the audience area. He walks over and stands in front of Lois.

Kalabora: Animemaster? What are you doing?

Animemaster reaches down into his right yellow boot, and pulls out Stewie who is holding some sort of gun.

Stewie: Hello, vile women... die!

Stewie fires the gun as several lasers shoot out. Lois grabs Stewie from animemaster.

Lois: Awww... did this nice man give you a new toy?

Stewie: Damn you!

Cut to commercial. We return and see an excited Kalabora sitting at his desk.

Kalabora: Welcome back. I am proud to introduce a new segment called "Interview With a Monkey." Please welcome our good friend who is back from disposing of a body, Kile Terro!

Kile jumps from behind the desk and then onto it.

Kile: My guest tonight will be Sanzo of the show Saiyuki.

Sanzo walks out and sits in the chair to the left of Kile. Kile points behind Sanzo.

Kile: It's Gyumaoh!

Sanzo doesn't flinch.

Sanzo: Ingrate.

Kile: So this Shangri-la. Your searching for I found it!

Sanzo: Humph.

Kile lifts up a bottle of vodka.

Kile: Yeah it's right here.

Sanzo: You dare degrade the bliss of this place?

Kile: Indeed I do. Why do all that work when you can just take a sip or two and get there in no time. Your an idiot for doing all that just to stop the resurrection of some demon.

Sanzo stands up and points his gun at kile's head. Kile's tail flails around frantically and points at Sanzo.

BANG!

Sanzo's body slowly falls to the floor. We see Kile sitting on the desk with his tail smoking.

Kile: Damn! Another body to roas-- I- I mean get rid of. Well, that's our show. See you tomorrow.

Next Time:

Our guests will be Kyo from Samurai Deeper Kyo, Dante of the Devil May Cry series, and Jin from the Tekken series.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------END OF EPISODE


	4. Episode 003: Kill the Host

**TKS: Requiem of the Show not Broadcasted**

By: -Kalabora-

Episode 003:

_Good evening and welcome to TKS! Now here's your host Kalabora!_

The camera scans the stage and stops on Kalabora's desk. We see Kalabora sitting at the desk.

Kalabora: Hello ladies and gentlemen. Tonight we will have three warriors on the show, and we all know what that means. That's right...

A frown comes over Kalabora's face.

Kalabora: It is the official return of ... Kill the Host contest. I can't talk so I'll let Mr. Terro inform you of this "contest."

_Thats right! It's the return of the Kill the Host contest in which three warriors try to destroy our host by any means necessary. So, let's FIGHT!_

We cut to commercial and when we return we see Kalabora standing in the middle of a newly placed wrestling he is armed with a red sword which somewhat resembles Cloud Strifes Ultimate Weapon.

_Alright, It is time for the first match. Please welcome Jin from the Tekken series._

Jin jumps over the ropes and faces Kalabora.

_3...2...1...FIGHT!_

Both combatants stand still and size each other up.

_Come on are you gonna fight or what? Oh, hey Kalabora I got your momma up here in the booth with me. Argh! Nothing...hey Kalabora Retsu says he'll give you a 2 cent raise for every enemy you defeat._

Kalabora: Wooooo!

Kalabora charges at Jin with his sword. Jin quickly rolls out of the way dodging the attack, then turns and uppercuts the unexpecting Kalabora. Kalabora falls to the floor.

Kalabora: Ouch! That hurt!

Jin: Sorry, your such a bitch.

Kalabora: GRRR!

Kalabora jumps up and hold his sword out in front of him.

Kalabora: DIE!

Kalabora jumps into the air over Jin, and land behind him. Jin looks around frantically. Kalabora swings his sword around just in time to cut through Jin. A smile comes over his face as he basks in his victory. The top half of Jin's body falls to the floor revealing the inside of him. We see Stewie sitting in a control seat inside Jin's body. He looks around quickly then unbuckles himself and runs out of the ring.

_And the winner of match one by disqualification is Kalabora! That's right no remote controlled corpses are allowed in the Kill the Host contest. Anyway, I forgot to mention the prizes of the contest. Of course we know Kalabora's prizes, but if one of the other contestants win they will get a one of a kind monkey servant-- hey what the hell! I didn't agree to this! Anyone of these guy would just use me as some sort of training dummy! Screw it the next contestant is Dante from the Devil May Cry series!_

Dante enters the ring and begins to circle Kalabora.

Dante: Hey, monkey lover! I'm in a hurry so let's get this over with.

Dante uses Devil Trigger and turns into his Devil form.

Kalabora: M-m-mommy!

All of the sudden Kile Terro jumps onto Dante's face.

Kile: Stab him!

Kalabora quickly stabs Dante. Dante turns back into his normal form and slowly starts to fall down as he slides off of Kalabora's blade. Kile jumps off of Dante's face and starts counting...1...2...3..

Kile: And the winner is Kalabora! Now if you'll excuse me I have to return to my post.

Kile runs up to his announce booth.

_And now for the final battle! Please welcome Kyo from Samurai Deeper Kyo!_

We see an empty side of the ring. Suddenly the ropes split apart and Kyo steps through and into the ring he returns his Katana back to the sheath. We see from the red glow of his eyes that he is being possessed by Demon eyes Kyo.

Kyo: You hear it don't you? The sound of the divine wind.

Kalabora falls down to his knees.

Kalabora: I didn't even see it! No...

Kalabora's body rips apart. Kalabora is defeated, and Kyo is the winner.

_And the winner of the match and the new host of TKS is Kyo!_

Animemaster comes into the ring with a broom and a dust pan and sweeps the pieces of Kalabora up then he leaves the ring.

We'll see you next time.

_Next time on The Kalabora Show! We will have Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII and Kenshin Himura of Rurouni Kenshin and Samurai X._

**END OF EPISODE**


End file.
